"A Gift of Love - the Story of Jessie"
By - Rusty
felix8@ptd.net

I remember that August summer morning which was the beginning of a very hot, humid, sultry day when it was time for me to bring my dear mixed golden retriever to the veterinarian to be put to sleep so she would no longer suffer from the cancer which was ravaging her body. Oh, how I recall how the tears kept coming and continued when I took her lifeless body to the pet crematorium where I waited until I could take Snookie's ashes home with me. I remember how deeply depressed I was and how the terrible grief overwhelmed me for some months to come because I no longer had a dog in my household. I dearly loved the two kitties I had but they could not accompany me on walks in the woods, something Snookie and I so loved to do. It did not take long for me to realize that I had to have a dog in my life although my husband was dead set against it.

In January, l991 I received a most welcome and unexpected call from my dear friend, Pat, telling me she wanted to give me a golden retriever as a gift. When I told my husband, he was adamant he did not want another dog but finally after many arguments, I decided to go and pick up my new dog from Pat no matter what he said. So after work I drove two hours to my friend's home and when I saw the new dog, whom I called Jessie, it was love at first sight. Jessie was nearly a duplicate of my angel Snookie except she was a pure-bred golden retriever. When full-grown, she was about l5 pounds heavier than Snookie had been. As we drove home, another hour and a half in the darkness, Jessie laid her head on my lap each time we stopped at a traffic light. The rest of the time she just stared at me with pure adoration and love. Oh, I felt so happy to have her besides me.

Finally I arrived home and put my car into the garage and entered my rec room. My husband was standing there and when he saw Jessie, he took one look at her, shook his head, turned and walked away. All the happiness and the elation I felt up to that moment just vanished in smoke and the apprehension in my heart began to grow. He did not speak to me for two days but later that night he did come down and help me set up a temporary crate for her near the heater so she would be warm and comfortable during the night. Unfortunately, the next day I had to go to work so I could not be home with Jessie and start training her. However, my husband was beginning to show signs of an undefined illness and was at home and he said he would take her out.

Well, each day when I had to go to work, I literally counted the hours and the minutes until I was home again to be with Jessie. The love and bond between us was growing steadily but I noticed my husband was getting more and more irritated by the youthful playfulness that all six-month-old puppies exhibit. To make a long story short, a few months later, it was ascertained that my husband had cancer and probably would not live long. He subsequently underwent major surgery and finally came home knowing he had about six months or less of life left. Each weekend his entire family would come up and visit him.

My husband and his family by this time were constantly putting tremendous pressure on me to "get rid of the dog" or to give her to someone, that my interests should be in taking care of my husband and nothing else. What no one seemed to care about was that my Jessie was helping me keep my sanity during a most difficult time and would be my companion after my husband was gone. Finally, after continuous bickering and many fights, I made provisions to board her for a while with a local veterinarian in his kennel but to keep peace, I told the family I had given her to someone. There are no words to tell you how this broke my heart, the loss of my soul mate and friend at a time when I needed her so much, her agony of being separated from me and not understanding why, not to mention the tremendous costs involved for boarding her were just beyond description.

In November of l991 my husband passed away and I immediately went to bring Jessie home again. By this time she had become extremely hyper believing that she was abandoned and unwanted, was no longer house-broken, and she had a tendency to chew everything in sight. Since I had to eat, it was mandatory for me to return to work and I was forced to keep her confined while I was away. I don't know for whom it was harder, Jessie or me. About four months later, from utter exhaustion from commuting over l00 miles per day to my job, I blacked out on the highway. Then due to health problems and the physical limitations involved, I was forced to quit my job and have the first of some eleven surgeries in a seven year period. Those years were so difficult but Jessie got me through them.

A friend of mine in Maryland took Jessie in for the month I spent in the hospital for the first surgery. When I came home, and Jessie was back with me again, I used a three-way walker and took Jessie on her leash down the ice-covered street. She seemed to know I was somewhat helpless and never pulled me or caused me any danger of falling. I never was able to return to work again because of my disabilities and I started to notice as the warm weather came that whenever I put her on the outside deck, she would refuse to stay there if I came in the house. Then it hit me that my husband must have put her outside for long periods of time alone because he could not cope with her. That realization really hurt me terribly.

Our bond grew stronger each day and the love and joy she showed me was just beyond description. She always seemed to be grinning and smiling and was always so happy whenever I was around her. If I got up from a chair to move to another room, she would follow me, never left me out of her sight. And she was so sweet to the two kitties who shared my home too, often washing them and playing with them in her gentle way. She loved everyone who came to my home. Jessie was always there for me as I went through some very difficult times, always loyal and loving and devoted. I could not imagine ever being separated from her.

Then all of a sudden, in February, 1998, my friend Pat presented me with a little sheltie whom I named Brandy.

Immediately upon seeing one another Brandy and Jessie became inseparable playmates. Before my husband died, I had a cat whom I called Samantha... How well I remember that shiny black and white fur and those gorgeous green eyes. So often when I would take out the dog I had before Jessie, my dear Snookie, Samantha would stand by the door and look so sad and forlorn as if to say I was not very nice to leave her behind - of course, I always returned shortly from those walks. One day in the summer of l988, my husband and I attended a company picnic. As fate would have it, one of the employees had a litter of kittens he wanted to find homes for. One particular kitten was very vocal, not to mention beautifully marked as well. He was all white but with a fawn color mask and some marks on his back - truly a different and lovely creature. My husband was determined not to bring home another cat - but I had different ideas. By the time the picnic ended, the little kitten whom I now named Jasper came home with me to join Snookie and Samantha.

Those two kitties were the happiest companions and played together all of the time. During the time my husband was getting ill and, it was very obvious he was dying of cancer. Never will I forget how both Jasper and Samantha were dead asleep but all of a sudden both awoke almost at the same time. They then proceeded to run up the stairs to my husband's bedroom and just sat in the doorway and stared at him for a few moments which struck me as being rather off. Little did I know until about fifteen minutes later that they came up to say good bye to their master.

I can truly say I do not think I would have been able to handle all of the things that were put on my plate....hardly any money, eleven major surgeries in seven years, just to mention two. I know that for me animals are everything - they love you totally, unconditionally and forever..... and, of course, I love them just as much. Anyone who is a senior who does not have a pet is certainly missing one of the greatest joys that life has to offer. For those who are not able to handle large animals, a cat can be the perfect companion to a senior.

Today ten years after losing my husband and giving up my job, my life has turned around to the better side. Unfortunately I do have some physical limitations but now I have two small shelties and three kitties with whom to share my heart and love. I am truly blessed to have them in my life.

Submitted by E. B. Russell